


The Way Out

by jjisungix



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst and Drama, Fluff and Humor, Inspired by Interstellar (2014), M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, No Smut, Swearing, all four of them are dumb, basically enemies to friends to lovers, character deaths(sadly), focused on nomin and renhyuck, nct00line, slow burn for a fic of this many words(sorta)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24529957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjisungix/pseuds/jjisungix
Summary: Jeno was one of the last people Jaemin had expected to see, hell, he had almost forgotten he existed.It was no secret Donghyuck and Renjun were at odds in the base, and their shouting matches could be heard from miles away.Who thought it would be a great idea for them to be the ones responsible for a whole planet's future?NCT '00 line AU
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So I was bored, and I started watching Interstellar even though the movie is lowkey overrated, and I had the sudden idea to write an AU.
> 
> I have no idea how long this is going to be, and I'm just doing this for fun lmao
> 
> Right now I have a bunch of finals stuff for school, so I might not update this regularly.
> 
> Note: This doesn't follow the events of the actual movie
> 
> Ships: nomin and renhyuck so basically 00 line fic
> 
> The dreamies are their actual ages(international bc im lazy)
> 
> Renhyuck be sailing these days and ofc nomin legit ships themselves so imma write about them lol
> 
> Reminder: all the dialogue and events in this is mine, and I don't personally know NCT, so these "personalities" are just what I see from videos they release in stuff, hell, Renjun could be a shy boi for all we know
> 
> this was started 6/3/20
> 
> Anyways have a nice ride!

June 12rd, 2013

"Jeno, please just don't talk to me anymore. We're going to be in high school, and we need to find new friends." Jaemin said, voice flat.

"But, why? Did I do anything wrong?" His (ex-)friend's voice was high and panicked, glasses slipping down his nose.

"No. It's because your, well, nerdy, and I'm a cool kid now." He hesitated. "It would look bad for me, hanging out with someone of your type. Plus, I've always wanted to tell you this, your nose is absolutely huge. You should get plastic surgery, if you want to get a girlfriend or something."

"I-" Jeno's mouth opened and closed, trying to find the right words to say. But Jaemin had already started to walk away, leaving the boy standing next to the brick wall of their school. That was the last time they had spoken.

It was true, Jaemin's words. Starting from Freshman year, Jaemin hung out with the popular kids, and Jeno was considered a nerd. But fortunately, other "nerds" existed, so he made friends. Chenle, who constantly teased him for not being funny and even Jisung, who was on the basketball team.

He didn't spare a glance at Jeno. Na Jaemin, leader of the dance team and one of the most popular boys in their year, never looked back. It wouldn't do him any good either.

August 14th, 2019

Sophmore year was the last "normal school year". The blight came, killing 99 point something percent of their food supply, and along with it, almost all of the human population on Earth. Those left surviving were all farmers, trying to fend for themselves by growing corn.

Jaemin was one of the few who were surviving. His parents were all dead. Everyone he knew was dying, or dead already. His brother had went missing 10 months ago too. The government, or what was left of it, posted missing posters every week. None were ever found alive. 

With all the crops killed came dust. Dust storms would rage the area for miles. Lakes, oceans, ponds, and rivers dried up, or were contaminated. The only water was from underground, delivered by workers who went inside the mines, almost, and hauled buckets out, eyes dead.

He had ran away, hiding in some abandoned shed to live in, in fear of getting drafted and put to work in the mine. Stealing water from people who had died, and grabbing food, coffee sticks, and the occasional packet of corn seeds sounded way better than that.

Phone service? He was lucky if power came to the small hut to charge his phone for. But he was working to make something, that could change the world for the 3500000 habitants that still scraped by everyday, hoping for enough water to take a cold shower.

When was the last time Jaemin had taken a shower?

He tinkered with the small control circuit of the machine he hoped would draw power from a nearby underground source he had recently discovered. Last wire in place--there! He finally was done!

Jaemin excitedly picked up the receiver and ran across the small corn field to the spot where he had picked up on power, with another device he had made. If school hadn't closed, he would've wanted to major in mechanical engineering. Fuck the kids who would've judged him.

"They're probably dead anyways." He let out a dry laugh and nosed around the patch of grass, finding the edge of the big panel-machine he had found a few months ago. There, he took out a screwdriver and uncovered a panel, and plugged the small black box in, twisting the wires together.

Black, red. Black, red. There. He would finally have running power, provided by the solar panel. A flaw he hadn't been able to work out was privacy, so whoever had set up the panel could pick up on his activity.

But it didn't matter, right? He would only use it for lighting up his 'warehouse' and playing PUBG. No one could come and arrest him for playing games, right?

Jaemin ran back to his house, and seeing the rabbit lamp he had scavenged was lit, let out a shout of joy. Finally, his house had power! The next project would be to make a generator, so the energy wouldn't be flowing from just that one circuit.

He climbed onto the dusty mattress, and that night, for a long time, he felt satisfied with himself, like when he had done well on his finals, or his dance team had won 1st in a Statewide competition, and would be advancing to the Nationals. Pity how the blight had hit, and the flight was cancelled. He didn't know that day, that the world would be essentially ending. No one knew, right? 

__________________

"Hey, Jeno, what's this?" Renjun's voice sounded from the room they shared. "Your transmitter for the solar panel you put outside has been connected to someone's receiver. Do those even exist anymore?"

Jeno stuffed a bagel in his mouth and walked down the metal hallway into his room. The computer monitor was open-- to someone playing PUBG? 

How had someone found his power source? He had hidden it very carefully, in a corn patch next to an abandoned shed. Whoever found it, he was impressed. 

"Wow, the person's playing PUBG? Damn, they must be hella smart, to even find my panel." He watched as the player sniped three players in a row, most likely robots. He grabbed his headset.

"I'm playing this person." He said as he sat down in the chair.

Renjun snatched the headset away.

"You don't know how dangerous this person is. There are legit no devices that can connect to your panel, and this person managed to find a way to make a device, and make a receiver that can span a long distance from wherever he lives." 

Jeno sighed. "Sure. I won't play him. But maybe he could be useful to the mission the hyungs are planning. He apparently knows a lot about devices, and our rocket could have a fix or two."

He watched as Renjun's eyes lit up. "Yeah! That's actually a great idea! I'll tell Yuta and Winwin hyung. They've been stuck on that kink in the machinery for such a long time."

"You make that sound dirty, you know?" Jeno added with a wink.

Renjun laughed and pushed him off his chair.

"You dirty-minded, bast--"

"I dare you to call Donghyuck cute or I'm not giving this back!" Jeno grabbed Renjun's iPad and Apple Pen, and raced down the hallway, Renjun in hot pursuit. 

He dashed into Doyoung's room, and quickly closed the door, locking it. He knew Renjun would pick it anyways, so he hid it high up on a shelf. 

"Hey, Jeno. What brings you here?" Doyoung sat unfazed, eyes glued to the computer screen, displaying some model of a machine.

"Just hiding from Renjun. I stole his Ipad and dared him to call Donghyuck cute." Jeno laughed at his own antics.

"Ah, you three. Always bickering, or causing trouble." The older laughed. 

"Oh, right. Someone got into my panel I put out to play games on." Doyoung was the only person who knew Jeno had gone up, and installed a solar panel that transferred energy into power so he could play games on his laptop.

"Oh, really? I thought no one would notice it, let alone use it. Seems like they're a smart one, huh?" Doyoung mused absentmindedly. 

"Yeah. He would've had to find my panel with a device that I know doesn't exist anymore, make a device to harness the power, and somehow make a receiver that can span a long distance. Impressive, if I say so myself."

Doyoung's eyes widened. 

"That's what we need! Yuta and Winwin can't get the modules inside the spaceship to connect to the base over a long distance. Send me the exact location of this person, and I'll send Chenle and Jisung to find them!" He exclaimed.

"Wait, really? They could be dangerous, for all we know. Plus, isn't NCT supposed to be top secret?" Jeno hesitated.

"Kid, get over your social anxiety. Pulease." Doyoung rolled his eyes. "You have good looks anyways. Why are you so anxious to meet new people?"

He opened his mouth, about to respond when the door busted open and Renjun stormed in.

"I did it, okay? Now give my fucking sketchbook back!"

"Wait, actually?" Jeno's eyes widened. Renjun had a huge sense of pride, and he would never do something like that. "I'm asking Hyuckie!" He took the device and placed it even higher onto the shelf, and went to find the younger boy.

After he had confirmed that Renjun called Donghyuck cute, gave Renjun his iPad back, and shut his door of his room, he walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror hung up on the wall. 

Weird jawline, small eyes. He had already noticed those things early on. He looked at his nose. It poked up way too high, almost a right angle.

Jaemin had said his nose was big. He sighed, putting a hand on the sink to ground himself. He ran his fingers through his whitish hair. 

Was he really that ugly? That question had followed him throughout high school, the blight, the formation of NCT, and even now.

Jaemin was probably dead now. Jeno felt only emptiness towards the boy whom he had called his best friend for 6 years, when they had met in the playground at elementary school.

He wanted to hate him, for leaving him. But he learned, it wasn't so easy to hate someone.

Over the years, he worked out a lot, switched his glasses for contacts, and lost a lot of weight. 

If school still existed, would the way Jeno looked now be considered "cool"? 

He shook his head, trying to clear himself of the vile thoughts. He splashed some water in his face, and started to walked down the hallway to join the others for dinner.


	2. when we meet again

"We've been monitoring the boy's activity on Jeno's computer, and he doesn't seem to dangerous." Doyoung said, putting his pencil down.

"Have you and Jungwoo figured out his identity?" Taeyong leaned against the doorway, clad in a polo shirt, and khaki shorts. He looked especially handsome today, but of course Doyoung couldn't say that to his face.

"Yep. Na Jaemin, aged 18. He lives by himself. You know that shed nearby the panel?" Doyoung quipped. "He plays way too much PUBG and Fortnite." He added with a chuckle.

Taeyong smiled, and Doyoung's heart almost combusted. 

"Well, he's the same age as the kids, and since Renjun and Donghyuck are too busy throwing hands at each other, he'd get along well with Jeno, don't you think?" 

"Yeah. The kid's got social anxiety or something, and it would be nice if he could meet someone new." The younger breezily replied. "Plus, Jeno also has an addiction to those stupid video games too."

"Shall I send a message to him? He seems the curious type. If he managed to make the machine, he should--" 

"Not with your cryptic messages even Taeil can't decipher again." Doyoung huffed. "Just send people to get him." 

Taeyong sighed in mock defeat.

"Fine, I'll send Kun and Johnny along to pick him up."

"Now we're talking." Doyoung shot finger guns at the older, making him roll his eyes.

"Dons, just finish the model you're drawing, so I can get it to Yuta to revise and potentially use on the spacecraft, kay?" Taeyong smiled again, and left the room.

"Having boy problems, eh?" It was Jeno.

"Speak for yourself." Doyoung grumped, and turned back to his work.

"Maybe you should make a move." The younger boy persisted.

"Yeah, "make a move", my ass. You don't even want to meet anyone." Doyoung muttered, erasing a line he drew.

"Look, it's called thinking and using my brain, which you seem to not do." Jeno said. "You can't expect any person except for yourself, and maybe Ten, to pick up a stranger out of the middle of nowhere and be cool about it."

"Well, Kun and Johnny are going to fetch him today, so you're meeting him anyways." He said triumphantly.

He heard the boy sigh. 

"Look, I just have a bad feeling--"

"He's your age, lives in a abandoned cottage, and plays video games 24/7. How dangerous can he be?"

"Well, you aren't talking about how he managed to find MY panel, create a device that hooks up to it, and use MY power." Jeno protested, empathizing the 'my' in his sentence.

Doyoung sighed. "Stop being a prissy and get out, I have to finish this." He shooed the younger out of the room.

"Says the prissy who won't talk to his crush!" Jeno called, zooming out of the room before Doyoung could get the chance to beat his ass.

______________

When Jaemin woke up, for once, there wasn't sand and dust covering his mattress and blankets, and the coffee machine was hooked up to power, so he wouldn't have to wait age for the coffee sticks to dissolve into cold water.

He picked up the mug, and filled the cup up. Then he unplugged the machine, and plugged his phone into the outlet, choosing to play a racing game as he ate some cornbread.

Something felt a little off today. Was it that he finally had running power, so he was feeling too happy? No, that wasn't it.

He shook the feeling off, thinking it was the caffeine rush, and set off to find some water. He noticed the black jeep parked at the edge of the cornfield, but didn't pay it much thought, thinking it was just some civilian's car. 

Jaemin walked towards the housing units, which were just beat up shipping containers, and walked around. He finally found one that was abandoned, and slipped in. Inside, he picked up a box of tea bags that probably expired two years ago-this was why he preferred coffee.

When he got outside, it was raining. Fucking finally. Jaemin thought, as he rushed home to grab a bucket to collect rainwater. It looked like he wouldn't have to scavenge anymore today.

When he got back to his house, there were two men standing in front of it. The jeep was parked closer, on the path that separated fields of corn.

Would this be the end for him? Would they send him to some water mine, and have him work till he died from exhaustion?

"No, you have to fight them." He told himself as he slowly walked towards the figures. One was taller than the other.

He had done enough of standing by and letting the good moments slip through his grasp. He would fight back, or die trying.

"Don't worry, we aren't going to take you to the water camp." Never mind then.

The taller of the two spoke up. "You don't have to be afraid of us, we're just here because of your expert machine building skills."

"Johnny, don't be so straightforward. The boy is scared." The shorter one commented. His hair was a blonde, almost whitish color.

The taller, or Johnny laughed. "My bad. May we come in? I promise we aren't bad guys." He smiled warmly.

Warning bells were going off in Jaemin's head, but he still reluctantly opened the door and let the two men in. 

Johnny immediately made himself comfortable on the mattress, and the other man chose to lean against the wall, watching as Jaemin put his findings on the shelf.

"Well, didn't expect someone to be living like this, outside of those shipping containers, but I haven't been above ground for a while, so things might've changed, amiright?" 

"Johnny." The other man gritted.

"No need to get your panties in a twist, Kun." Johnny turned back to Jaemin. "We're here to recruit you anyways." 

"R-recruit me? Where?" His voice came out a bit breathy.

The dark haired man pulled out a poster and unfurled it, adding some jazz hands. Jaemin bit back a smile as he watched the other man roll his eyes and sigh.

"We'd like you to join NCT, a undercover space agency aimed for space travel. Basically, to get us out of this hellhole before everyone dies and the human race goes extinct." He added, with a smaller smile.

"Why though?" Jaemin asked. He was still a bit skeptical about it. Maybe they wanted to abduct him? But why him? He was just a normal 20 year old trying to survive.

"You know the panel you found and hooked up your receiver thingy to? That was installed by one of our agents to, well, play games." He said, looking a bit bashfully. 

"Anyways," Kun continued. "We saw that you were able to achieve this with, like no materials and little power, so we'd like to add you to the team. Maybe even be one of the people we send to space." 

"Also, you'll have free food so you don't have to scavenge from dead people anymore. Even I'd hate doing that." Johnny said with a shudder.

"Okay, enough with the theatrics. You can join, and put your machine building skills to use by helping us develop model types. There will be free food, running power, and housing. You can always decline, and we won't bother you again. Only request is you disconnect from the panel." Kun finished.

"I'll join!" Jaemin would always jump at the chance for free food. Also, if he had survived till this long and they really were child abductors, he would have considered his life worth it. 

"Good!" Johnny said, smile triumphant. "Do you wanna pack up your stuff?"

He nodded, and quickly got out an old suitcase, tossing the few pairs of clothes he had, his laptop, all of his clothes, and his phone. The mug and the lamp would have to stay.

"Great! Lets goooo!" Johnny cheered. In the short time Jaemin knew him, he was very enthusiastic and had a goofy personality. He felt good to be around.

As they walked to the car, Jaemin learned more about NCT. They were a group formed by a multimillionaire whose last wish was space travel. When he had died, someone named Taeyong had taken over, and when the blight hit, they had the resources and the knowledge to move their base underground, plant food, and basically have their own world.

"Why don't you guys share?" He asked.

"Ah, if we did, we wouldn't be able to save everyone, and could hurt ourselves. So we decided to keep our resources for developing a way to get everyone out of here." His gaze turned sad. 

"On a better note, you're 18, right?" He continued after Jaemin nodded. "There's three other people who are the same age as you."

"That's great." He said shyly, opening the door, and buckling the seatbelt. The car wasn't dusty at all unlike the cars he saw at the housing complexes. 

Johnny started the car, and when they were off and moving down the cracked pavement, continued. 

"Two of them are always going off at each other, but I think you'll get along good with the other one. He's also absolutely obsessed with the games you pla--" He quickly stopped himself.

"Ah, sorry to intrude on your privacy, but we could kinda see what you were doing." Kun quickly added, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Oh, its okay. I expected that, because I couldn't get my machine to hide it's signal." Jaemin laughed.

"It's hard. I personally don't do modelling, but Doyoung, one of our members does, and it's so complicated it makes my head hurt and my eyes blind." Johnny joked, coaxing a laugh out of both Jaemin and Kun.

"No wonder he's always in a pissy mood." Kun muttered quietly.

"Oh, would you look at that, we're here! Welcome to NCT headquarters, Jaemin! I gotta inform the others that we're here, and then we'll be granted access." Kun said warmly.

Welcome to your new life!" Johnny added, jokingly. 

Jaemin stared in wonder at the nondescript garage door, rolling up to reveal something like a parking lot, with a raising bar. 

As they drove in, he could feel them going more and more deep underground, until they stopped at another door. 

"Just in case someone manages to get through the first garage." Kun said, watching how Jaemin was staring in awe.

Johnny flawlessly parallel parked in between two other cars, and he hopped out. Kun opened the back door for him, and helped him get his bag out.

They walked silently to a back door, footsteps echoing in the garage. Johnny typed in a keycode, and they opened the door to a stunning looking hallway. It was nondescript, like the garage, and led off in both directions. 

"Ooookay. We gotta go degermify you now, incase there are some bad bacteria or viruses. There are lab experiments going on here." Johnny skipped down the hallway into a side room. 

"You can shower here. There's also hot water and shampoo." Kun added, smiling when he saw how Jaemin's face lit up.

"Thank you!" He shot a smile, and placed his bag down. The hot water of the shower felt like he was washing away all of his worries piled up from the last two years, and he had never felt so grateful.

When he was done, Kun and Johnny were waiting for him.

"You'll be sharing a room with three other people. Don't worry, they are the same age as you." Johnny continued, smiling reassuringly. 

"We'll meet you and the other members during meal time, when we all eat together." Kun said, and Jaemin realised how close all the people here were, due to the blight.

Bad things brought people together, right?

Jaemin wandered down the hallway towards his room, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. He had just singlehandedly just saved his life with that secret hobby of his.

Maybe he should reveal his true colors more. It could definitely help him in many ways. Not the popular dumb blonde, sweet boy Jaemin. The mastermind, smooth as hell, hardworking Jaemin would come out of hiding, from all these years.

"I mean, what can go wrong?" He thought, as he strolled towards the wooden door. 

Jaemin neared the door, hesitated for a moment, and knocked.

"Please don't say Hyuck beat your ass again and you need to hide in the bathroom again." A voice sounded from inside.

"Oh, no, I'm not Hyuck. I'm the new person." Jaemin said, a bit nervously.

"Ah, sorry! Coming!" He heard footsteps near the door, and the door opened. Jaemin looked up from his phone, at the person.

It was Jeno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't we all love cliffhangers(jk lol)  
> anyways sorry this chapter was half assed because I'm so busy with school   
> should I make a twt?  
> stay safe everyone! #blm


	3. Flashback: I've been there too

_The evening before Jaemin's arrival_

Donghyuck was so damn annoying, it hurt Renjun's brain to even think about him. He was currently chasing the younger because he had pulled yet another prank on him, and embarrassed him in front of all of the other members. 

"Seriously, fuck you!" He screamed at the boy who was currently laughing his ass off. 

Why did he have to get bullied by Donghyuck? The boy acted so sweet, initiating skinship with Jisung, laughing with Chenle when Mark was having a brain fart and couldn't find the right words to say(which happened a lot), or teasing Jeno over his bad puns(they were actually pretty funny if you had an advanced sense of humor). 

But he went all out on him, locking him out of their shared room one freezing winter night, and keeping him in the cold, dark hallway, where there was no heat. He had caught a cold, and the other didn't even look a bit remorseful, instead getting ahold of his iPad and deleting the drawing he had been working on for the past three weeks.

Did he really hate Renjun that much?

While Donghyuck used fists and the occasional insult, Renjun placed his attacks on words. He knew he was just adding fuel to the already blazing out of control fire, but he couldn't help himself sometimes, no, actually every single time.

Jeno tried to stop both of them from getting too physical, but couldn't do much. He didn't blame the boy though. Donghyuck and him went way back.

He was just so tired of trying to evade the younger, and wanted out, to get somewhere far, far away from him. But deep down, he knew he would be stuck in this godforsaken place, with that asshole, until one of them killed the other.

Renjun slumped onto his bed, running his hands through his hair. 

"Hey, you okay?" It was Jeno. 

"Yeah." Was all he could say before flipping to the other side, and squeezing his eyes shut.

"We both know you aren't. Tell me a way I can help. I'm sorry, by the way, for daring you to call him cute. I should owe you something." His voice sounded from the bathroom.

Renjun nodded, before realizing Jeno couldn't see him. "Sure. Could you please tell him to stop with these prank wars or whatever grudge he has against me? It's really hurting me, physically and mentally. I can't say it to his face, my ego won't allow me to." 

He heard his quiet chuckle from the bathroom. "Okay. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to, either. But speaking from experience of watching you two go at it, this might not work. Do you want me to tell Johnny? He's the only person Hyuckie might listen to." 

"Go ahead. I just want this to stop." Renjun groaned into his pillow. 

"Same. Honestly, same."

____________________

Jeno brought Renjun his dinner, choosing to eat it with him in their room. 

"So, I told Donghyuck. That bastard." He muttered, stabbing a carrot with his fork.

"I'm guessing it didn't go well?" Renjun asked, visibly deflating. Of course it wouldn't have.

Jeno shook his head. "I asked him to stop bothering you, and he said to mind my own business. I also added that you told me to tell him that and it was serious, but he just laughed and flipped me off." He sighed. "I really wish we could fix this, Junnie, I really do. Should I try asking Johnny about it? If all goes wrong, I can always go to Taeyong."

"Don't. He won't ever fix himself, and still act like an actual fucking angel in front of them, and then comes and abuses me, playing it off as a prank." There was never any hope.

"What if he doesn't know that you actually hate it?" 

"Trust me, he does. He goes even worse because of that." He sipped from his glass of water. "The only thing I can do is avoid him." 

He didn't want to look up at Jeno, because he knew there would be a pitiful look on his face, directed at him, and he'd only feel worse, like he was weak. Maybe he was.

"I don't pity you."

"Don't kid yourself." Renjun let out a dry laugh. "Even I would pity myself."

"I've somewhat been in your place before. I want to help you, now that I know the real severity of this situation." His voice was filled with earnest, tinted with a bit of sadness. 

How could have Jeno, who was always so sweet, handsome, and talented, been in his place?

"Trust me, I didn't always look like this." Renjun turned to look at Jeno. He was looking towards the wall with a somber expression. "I wore these huge, wire-rimmed glasses that made my eyes look tiny, and had too much fat on my face. People would always call me a nerd and rip up my homework, or put hurtful notes in my locker, saying I was too smart for my own good. Even my only friend ditched me." he laughed sarcastically, stabbing another corn kernel. He missed.

"I mean, h-how? You're hot as fuck, athletic, and smart. When you came here, I honestly thought you were some popular playboy at the school you used to go to." He stammered, after hearing his friend talk.

Jeno laughed. "Nope. Not at all. I took up dance as a side hobby in my sophomore year, but never joined the team, well, because that former friend who ditched me became the leader of it. I only started working out after I came here. Plus, I'm not even that buff."

"Well, that former friend is a fucking asshole. Who would ditch someone like you?" Renjun decided firmly.

"Yeah, I ask myself that every day. Just kidding. I haven't thought about it for a long time." He swallowed a piece of food. "He's probably dead by now." He let out a cold laugh, chewing on it. Just by looking at the younger, he could tell that kid definitely put him through a lot.

"Tell me about it." 

So he did, and Renjun was in wonder. How could he have hidden something so dark, and acted so normal, for so long? He paled compared to how much he realized Jeno was holding in. 

"Would you want to kill him if you could? Or get revenge, for what he made you go through?" He asked. 

He watched Jeno think. "Well, I wouldn't. This is like that kind of thing where you just don't feel anything anymore. Of course, I was mad and confused, but I eventually got over it, and made new friends, like Chenle and Jisung." 

Renjun was wowed at how his friend could get over someone who had been his everything, to nothing. If only his situation could've been somewhat like that, he would've known what to do.

"Well, enough of emo hours, an alliance? You and me? Against the world? I can always help you if you have problems, you know." He asked, holding out a hand.

Jeno shook it, knocking his fork onto the ground in the process.

"You got yourself a whole ass Lee Jeno on your side. Be proud." He then proceeded to accidentally spill chicken on the floor, sighing loudly.

"Okay, I definitely take the being proud of me part back."

Renjun let out a laugh, a genuine one this time.

__________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post the second half separately, so this chapter is short af   
> Don't worry, it'll be up right after this is posted.  
> anyways, stay safe and healthy, and have a nice day/night!


	4. Meeting the past

Jaemin stood in front of Jeno, mouth opening and closing, not knowing what to say.

The odds of them meeting again, here, were fucking microscopic. How, just how?

To be honest, Jaemin had almost forgotten all about the boy standing in front of him, but when he gazed upon him, suppressed memories came flooding back. 

Him ditching him back in middle school because he was nerdy and ugly. Well the Lee Jeno that stood before him was definitely none of those things.

He was in a hoodie and jeans, a lean but fit figure, standing rigidly, hand still on the doorknob. Jeno had never been exceptionally fat, but always was one of the slower kids in gym class. This Jeno looked like he could outrun even Jaemin, who had been on the track team for two years straight. His glasses were also gone, and his hair was dyed a whitish color.

The thing that changed the most was his face. He had a extremely sharp jawline and leaner face, bringing out his big eyes as he stared in surprise. His nose didn't look big, either. It was sharp, fitting in with the rest of the angles in his face.

"Well, this is awkward. We, uh, meet again, I guess." He let out a nervous chuckle, expecting the worst. "May I come in?"

Jeno seemed to regather his composure. "Sure. You're the new person, right?" His voice had deepened a lot, too.

New person? Jaemin felt a little hurt, then again, he was the one who ditched him. He nodded as Jeno stiffly walked in front of him to the spacious room, where two bunk beds sat on opposite sides. They seemed to be the same height now. Jaemin had always been taller by a few inches back then.

"You'll be staying here with Renjun, Donghyuck and me." Jeno said curtly, motioning to the empty bunk. He gave him a smile that didn't really meet his eyes, because, well, he knew from 6 years of experience, that when he was actually happy, his eyesmile would come out. 

When the other boy had made an excuse he didn't catch, and quickly dashed out the room, Jaemin sat on the bed, bag beside him.

What in the actual hell had he gotten himself into?

Meeting someone he already knew here, no fucking way. If fate was a thing, it would've been truly evil, bringing a piece of his dark past right to him.

What was the right thing to do, after almost 5 years of not seeing him? Apologize? A bit, no, way too late for that. He had seen the emotionless look in Jeno's eyes when he looked at him.

Why did he even want to apologize? Because he had an obvious glowup, and was hot as fuck? Definitely not.

"Now is definitely not the time to try and hit on someone." He reminded himself. "They let you come here for a mission, not to hoe around." Plus, he was sure Jeno was straight as a metal pole.

Jaemin opened his phone. It was already 6:18. He pulled out the paper with the schedule Johnny had handed him, and realized dinner together would start in about 45 minutes. He also realized that he was starving, but would definitely have to see Jeno again. Fuck his life, seriously.

_______________________

Jeno trudged to Doyoung's room, slamming the door when he went in. The man looked up, surprised.

"Jeno? What's wrong?" He watched glumly as he sat beside him on the bed, putting am arm around him.

"You promise you won't tell anyone?" He smiled sadly. Doyoung nodded. 

So Jeno sat there, and spilled everything. From the moment he and Jaemin met, to when he had ditched him on that sweltering summer day. At the end, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. Wiping away a stray tear, he turned to the older.

"So, what do you think I should do?" He gently asked, blowing his nose hard into the tissue he had handed to him.

Doyoung thought for a few seconds. "Well, if I was in your situation, I would want revenge. You were like super depressed after, right?" After a pause, he continued. "I would be too, if one of my only friends abandoned me, and called me ugly."

"But the thing is, I have no idea what I want now. He played a big part in making the person I am today. That's why I came to you." Jeno sighed, putting his face in his hands. 

"So would you consider that impact good or bad?" Doyoung seemed to choose his words carefully. "If it was good, you could ask him about it, and both of you could move on. But if it was bad..." He trailed off. 

"I-I'm not too sure. I'm not like you, a person who can take revenge and not bat an eye. I would feel horrible, even if he was the person who killed my parents or something. Maybe he doesn't even remember what happened." His voice was soft, and anguished.

"So, I'm guessing it wasn't good?" Jeno squeezed his eyes shut after hearing the older's words, trying not to think about it.

"No." It came out as a pained whisper.

"Well, you could always ignore him. Treat him like a stranger. Sleep in Lucas and Mark's room for a while. Just avoid talking to him, see what he does. Maybe he actually feels bad about it."

"Feels bad? He's had five fucking years to come to his senses of if he felt the least bit apologetic or not. But no, I won't blame him. I definitely meant way less to him than he meant to me." Jeno spat, throwing the used tissue as hard as he could, towards the trash can. 

Doyoung knew Jeno rarely was like this, so it must have been serious. 

"Do you know what meant the most to him?"

"Popularity." The word tasted vile in his mouth. "He liked validation, and being the center of attention, whether it was about a good thing or not."

He watched Doyoung think. "So what do you feel towards him now? You obviously used to be friends."

"I feel, like this empty feeling towards him. Like back then, if he had gotten made fun of, I would run to comfort him. Now, I wouldn't bat an eye. But I don't hate him." He leaned against the wooden post of the bed. 

"Oh, what the hell am I supposed to do?" The question came out like a wail.

"Don't worry. You have all the time to decide. But remember, I'll always be on your side." Doyoung enveloped him in a hug. 

"You sure you don't want me to tell the others? Taeyong was also in a situation like yours, and if he knows about it, we could all shade him together."

"He was?" 

"Yep. Yuta was the one he used to pick on in school because he came from Japan and couldn't really speak good Korean. Now they're besties. Maybe you and Jaemin could be like that." 

"I'm not sure. It hurts my chest to think about what he put me through." He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Whoever hurt my baby, I will throw these hands at!" Doyoung exclaimed, and Jeno couldn't help but laugh.

"You realize you suck ass at fighting?" He said, rolling his eyes at the older's antics.

He slapped the younger's back. "Language."

"I'm like, an adult, you know." Jeno quipped.

"Still. Would you like me to bring you your dinner?" He asked. Jeno shook his head.

"I'll get it, and eat with Renjun in our room." He smiled, genuinely.

"Now that's my boy." Doyoung said. "Renjun's a great kid, even though he's hella scary sometimes. You should form alliances with those types of people."

When Jeno exited the room, he quickly dug out his phone, and quickly dialed Renjun.

"Yeah, come meet me in the study room. I'm in a bit a crisis right now."

"Why? Something happened?" Renjun's voice came over the line, concern evident.

"Yeah. Could we eat dinner there today? I'll tell you later. Let's grab dinner together, kay?"

"Sure. See ya." The line went silent, and Jeno leaned against the wall. The cold metal grounded him. 

What now? This was his situation, and he had no idea what he wanted. Was it worth fixing? He shouldn't Renjun into this, right? His friend already had enough problems.

"Why can't I make a decision for once in my life?" He muttered to himself, shrugging off his jacket. His face was starting to burn up.

When he got to the room, Renjun was already there, sitting on one of the couches.

"So, Jaemin. Have you met him yet?" Jeno nodded. "Anyways, what did you want to talk about?" 

Jeno plopped onto one of the couches. 

"Jaemin.... Is that ex friend I told you about." He had to keep a grip on the cold glass of his phone to keep from losing his balance.

"Wait, seriously?" Renjun laughed in disbelief, then quickly stopped after looking at his expression.

"Yeah." Jeno let out a big sigh. "I have absolutely no fucking idea what to fucking do about this fucking situation." 

"Woah, woah, woah. Swearing is definitely not the way to go. Jaemin is that friend, you say? The new kid who somehow found your panel?" 

"Yep. Never should've put it there in the first place." 

"Damn, I--"Renjun couldn't seem to make words. "Fate fucked up big time for you, huh?"

"Hasn't it always been, for me, at least?" Jeno laughed dryly. "I can almost believe in it now." 

He dug out his phone. "It's 8:28. Wanna grab dinner and come back here to eat? I already asked Doyoung, and he said it's okay to."

"Does, he know that Jaemin is...you know? " Renjun trailed off. 

Jeno nodded, pursing his lips. 

"Well, we both lead equally fucked up lives now, wanna help each other?" Renjun offered.

"You don't even have to ask. Of course I'll help you."

______________________________

Johnny came to pick Jaemin up for dinner. 

"So, have you met your new roommates yet? They nice?" 

Jaemin nodded, plastering a smile. "Yep."

"You hungry? Sorry, I was busy, and forgot to bring you a snack." He chuckled.

"Ah, its ok. Thanks, though." He smiled.

They arrived at the big cafeteria hall, where three big round wooden tables were pushed together. People began filing in, all boys. 

Kun walked up to where he and Johnny were standing, two boys in tow. They looked a year or two younger than him.

"This is Chenle and Jisung. They're the two maknaes here. Chenle, Jisung, this is Jaemin. He's a year older than you." 

Jaemin smiled warmly at the two boys. "I'm Jaemin, as he told you. I hope we can get along together well."

e met so many other people, Taeil, who cheekily smiled and waved, introducing him as the eldest of NCT. Taeyong, who was strikingly handsome but had the softest personality, Yuta who had a scary aura, but was nice, Doyoung, who gave him a wan smile, Jaehyun, in contrast, who smiled widely, and was also handsome, Winwin, who was rather quiet, Jungwoo, who attacked him with kisses, Lucas, who was tall and loud, Mark, who was even louder, Xiaojun, gave him a smile, and went to talk with Hendery. Donghyuck sat down, and struck up a conversation with him. He seemed super sociable. Yangyang walked in a bit late, with his t-shirt inside out, explaining that he woke up late.

Jeno and another boy he presumes is Renjun, shows up a few minutes after everyone had settled down, and Jaemin watched as he exchanged glances with Doyoung, nodding slightly, before picking up both of their trays, and walking out of the big hall. He stares at the older's receding back, admiring the muscles. 

Warning bells went off in his head. "Come to your fucking senses, please. What the hell are you doing?" He thought fiercely. 

"Oh, that's Jeno and Renjun." It was Donghyuck. "Jeno's really nice, but Renjun's an complete asshole. I lowkey want to kill him sometimes. Maybe that snake got Jeno on his side now." 

Jaemin laughed awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, Renjun and Donghyuck lowkey hate each other." Mark was talking. "I honestly don't get it. They attack each other every time they see each other."

"You," Donghyuck poked a finger in Mark's side, making the older wince in pain. "don't get shit." 

Mark just shrugged. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"Did that bitch brainwash your lousy ass now? He definitely did it to Jeno. He fucking asked me to stop picking on him, when he does it too. He was spewing some weird shit about it actually hurting, when all that snake wants is to damage my reputation." Donghyuck spat. 

"I'm so sorry you have to share a room with him." Lucas was talking. "He's like this all the time. I swear, the both of them got asshole syndrome." 

"Oh, it's okay. I can deal with it. Have you tried talking to him, to resolve this?" He turned back to Donghyuck.

"He's too busy planning his next trick to fucking talk. I swear, the only person he talks to these days is Jeno and Winwin, because those two are the only members in this godforsaken organization that own working braincells, I'd have to admit." 

Again with mentions of Jeno. It seemed like his former friend had gained a good reputation here.

"About Jeno." He started. "Is he nice?" 

"Yeah. He's really sweet. If I wasn't already dating Lucas, I would definitely date him." Jungwoo laughed softly.

Jaemin laughed, abeit fakely. "That's cool."

"You interested? I mean, I wouldn't blame you. He's the full package, cute, athletic, nice, good at legit everything. He would be the type of boyfriend who takes you out on Saturday morning coffee dates, if those still existed." 

"Ah, no, I'm not." He laughed. Was he though? Well, he wouldn't even have a chance, and revealing that he once ditched Jeno because he was not cool enough would make all the members hate him, or think there was definitely something wrong with him, for throwing someone who was so hot, to the side.

"Riiiight." Jungwoo stretched out the word. "My gaydar is never wrong. I've got a grand total of 3 out of 3 couples together in the span of two years I've been here."

"Oooh, Jaemin's got a cruuush." Lucas cooed. 

He sighed, finishing up his plate, and placing in on the side table. 

"I don't okay? He probably wouldn't like me, either." He laughed it off, even though he felt a pang of some feeling in his heart. 

Jealousy, maybe?

"Well, I'm just saying, but you two look good together." Mark says. 

The members started to wave their goodbyes, and retreat to their rooms, when Jaemin realized that he had to share a room with Jeno. 

Lucas seemed to read him wrong, and instead asked, "Hey, you like it here?"

"Ah, yeah, it's great not having to clean dust from everything anymore." He laughed it off for the nth time in one day.

"Yeah, its hard to remember the world above us is really fucked up, you know. That's why we're here. To create a path to the new world. That's actually why our motto is to the world." 

"Oh wow." Jaemin was wowed at the depth and intention of the seemingly meaningless motto he had read in the packet Kun had handed him when he came in. 

"Well, see you around! I hope we can be good friends! Also, have fun with Donghyuck!" The older smiled widely, eyes crinkling, and he could finally take his mind off the current crisis, abeit for a moment.

He nodded. "See you!" 

Now, all he had to do was face reality. 

Way easier said then done. 

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really edit this chapter, I just wanted to get it up, so there's probably tons of mistakes lol  
> I feel like I didn't convey their emotions as much, and just focused on getting the events down, so this chapter might be on the boring side, oops  
> anyways, stay safe!


	5. this is reality

Renjun and Jeno lounged on the fluffy chairs in the room, eating in silence. 

Jeno decided to speak up. "Don't mind me, I'm just trying to come to terms with reality. It just hit me a good 10 minutes ago."

Renjun laughed. "Same here. Oh, right. Where are you going to sleep now?"

"In my room, why? You sleep there with Donghyuck, it can't be so hard." He asks, smoothing his hair. 

"Yeah. We're too tired to deal with each other's shit, so we just ignore each other. It's still pretty bad, honestly." He laughed, even more dryly. "What do you do, to like, distract yourself from reality?"

Jeno was surprised at the question. "Dancing. It makes me think I can be whatever I want, wherever. You should try it someday." 

"Well, you've been doing it for a long time. I can't just start."

"Of course you can. It's never too late to start dancing, you know? Some people start at two, and others start at 22, and they all dance the same." He chuckled at his own answer.

"Maybe I'll try." To take his mind off things.

"You should. Me and Jisung try to hit the studio at least twice a week, when we aren't too busy with work and stuff. Come with us next time. Anyways, I could use a friend other than Jisung." Jeno smiled wanly, poking at his food.

"Sooooo. Your boyfriend not boyfriend. What are you going to do?" Renjun joked.

"Um, he's not my boyfriend, what kind of drugs are you on?" Jeno coughed in disgust. He could never imagine him, and that goddamn person being together.

"You know what I look for in a significant other?" He asked, after a long moment of silence.

"What?" The older asked, curiosity now piqued.

"Someone who I feel safe with. Who understands and trusts me. We can give our hearts to each other." He said, truthfully.

"Damn, what a sap. What romance novels have you been reading?" Renjun laughed, taking a swig from his iced tea.

"Gotta be honest, the only things I read are Doyoung's love confession papers to Taeyong that he hides in a box under his bed." He laughed lightly.

Renjun promptly started choking on his food, laughing so hard.

"Wait, s-seriously? Doyoung is that type of person? I legit thought they hated each other's asses!" He threw his head back in laughter.

"Perks of being close with him." Jeno added, laughing slightly.

"Doyoung does what?" It was Johnny's voice. "Tell me, please, for scientific purposes, of course."

Renjun and Jeno exchanged a look. "Nope. Not a fucking chance." They said in unison, bursting in laughter when they realized they had said the exact same thing at the exact same time.

"And I thought Chenle was my soulmate!"

It helped take his mind off things, at least temporarily.

________________________

After dinner was over, and most of the members had retreated to their rooms, Johnny found Jaemin.

"So, how was dinner? We have our own greenhouses, owned by Taeil, and tended to by Chenle and Jisung, so we can grow food needed. I'll have to show you that someday." He paused. "But for today, I'll show you the rooms on the top floor, which is the floor we are on right now."

Jaemin nodded. "It was good, not just eating dry cornbread or stale biscuits." He smiled, abeit fakely and briefly.

"Yeah, you're a real lucky one, you know. If you hadn't accidentally found that panel, we wouldn't have even known someone so talented like you existed." The taller grinned, patting his back. "Luck was really on your side, huh?"

Jaemin bit back the wash of bitter feeling. "Ah, thanks, I'm flattered you find me talented." He chuckled, putting a hand on his neck. "People at the school I used to go to would have laughed at what I like to do, because supposedly, a pretty boy like me shouldn't like studying machines." He laughed dryly.

"Ohhh, that's horrible. I think people should be recognized for their talents, not the way they look, or their status. Whoever thought that must've been a horrible person. But don't worry, here, we don't care what you look like. Your personality, talent, and work ethics count the most."

Johnny kept rambling on as they walked into the long hallway, and Jaemin felt an ugly feeling in his stomach.

Was he really that wrong for ditching Jeno? His old "friends", were damn horrible people, he just realized. He remembered when he had turned in his model first in Tech class, and those people had mocked his expressions, while doing it.

"Don't try so hard, or you're a tryhard. Your face could do wonders on its own, you know?"

Jaemin squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid himself of the memories.

"Kid, you okay? You tired or something? We could always do this another day. You should go rest." It was Johnny, looking down on him with a worried expression.

"Ah, it's nothing. I'm not tired at all. Had two cups of coffee this morning." He plastered a bright smile on his face.

"You sure?" When Jaemin firmly nodded, he smiled again, and led them to a green door.

"Here's the lounge. If you need a quiet space, you can go here to think." Laughing sounded from behind the door.

"Maybe not." Johnny laughed sheepishly, and opening the door, to a brightly lit room with bookshelves, lounge chairs, and two TV's in the middle of the room.

"-- s-seriously? Doyoung is that type of person? I legit thought they hated each other's asses!" A voice, sounded from one of the high backed chairs in the corner of the room. Someone's high pitched laugh cut through the room.

"Perks of being close with him." A quieter, lower laugh sounded. Jeno?

"Doyoung does what?" Johnny asked. "Tell me, please, for scientific purposes, please."

He watched in the shadows as Jeno and Renjun turned around from their seats. The former's eyes were rounded in surprise, and he looked like a puppy, sort of.

"Jaemin, stop!" He thought hard, as Jeno and Renjun looked at each other, and promptly said, "Nope. Not a fucking chance." At the same time, then bursting into more laughter when they realized they had said the same sentence at the same time.

He watched as Jeno's eyes crinkled into crescents. Just like old times, when they used to joke. But the old Jeno never swore, even in 8th grade. Well, he must've changed his personality a bit, right?

Jaemin felt a pang of, what was it, jealousy? Loneliness? He couldn't help but step out of the awning, and watched as Jeno's face immediately changed from slightly amused to a stony façade.

"C'mon, tell me, or I'll tell Mark all your dirty secrets. Trust me, I see a lot, and that kid's mouth is bigger than the Pacific Ocean, or what it used to be, at least." Johnny glanced back quickly at him.

Jeno pursed his lips, and shook his head.

"Me and Doyoungie hyung are blood brothers. We don't betray each other."

"Renjun? C'mon, it'll be so fun if we could make fun of him." The older pouted, making Renjun look away in disgust.

"Sorry, gotta stay loyal to my bro." He motioned to Jeno. "Plus, me and Doyoung are awkward relationship level 1, so I need to build up my trust." He laughed, picking up his glass and downing the rest.

"No low blows to bros is the way life goes, you know? Now, what brings you guys here?" Jeno asked, the fake smile he had given him in the room plastered on his face again. Renjun smirked a bit at the joke.

Jaemin slightly tiled his head. "Is he shading me now?" ran through his head. When had Jeno learned to shade someone? Then, again, they hadn't spoken in a good 5 years.

"Ah, I was just giving Jaemin here a tour of the base." Johnny smiled indifferently, seemingly to not notice anything. Jeno nodded a bit too stiffly.

Renjun glanced at Jeno, seemingly reading his stony face, and promptly picked up both of their plates. Jeno stood up with him, and Jaemin couldn't help but notice the height difference between the two.

"Well, we'll be going now, in case Winwin makes us wash our own dishes because we're late. See you around!" Renjun quickly got out of the room, Jeno in tow.

He definitely knew something.

"Well, that was Jeno and Renjun. Don't tell anyone, but I personally like Jeno better. Renjun can be... bipolar, no that sounds bad, let's just say he can be sweet one second and start cutting bitches the next. So if he acts like that, he's probably in his emo teen moods."

"Isn't he an adult already, though?" Jaemin asked, with a nervous laugh. Of course, everyone liked Jeno. It shouldn't have been a surprise. He finally realized how much the tables had turned in the new situation.

"Yeah." Johnny rubbed his nose. "Anyways, let's go someplace else, kay?" He nodded, smiling and waving as the older led him through all the labs, recreational rooms, and even the rocket chamber. Jaemin ogled at the magnificent machine he definitely wouldn't be capable of building in any life of his.

But his mind was not on how they cultivated new breeds of plants, or how energy was saved in the facility as a whole. He was dreading when the tour would end, and he would have to face Jeno again. He couldn't stand the cold, blank stares the older gave him, like he no longer remembered who he was. But he knew he did, by that tiny flicker of something he couldn't quite recognize in his eyes.

He was forever grateful for the hospitality the organization had given him, though. He would stay here to survive.

"By the way, the panel I found, who's was it?" He asked, looking up at the older man.

"Oh, it was Jeno's. He made it himself, put it up there to take power from the sun to play games in. I honestly didn't know about it until Doyoung told me that Jeno told him he had tracked someone else's activity."

Oh, how much did fate fuck up this time?

_________________________

"Hyuck, you okay? You haven't spoken a word in the past three hours." Mark's concerned face looked at him from across the table.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just trying to think of ways to cut a bitch. Thinking of him makes me retch." He buried his face in his hands.

"You know, maybe Renjun really hates what you're doing to him, and he just can't say it to your face because his too prideful. Trust me, if I were him, I would do the same thing. And your tricks are getting old. Locking him out of his room because he called you a shit eating bitch was a real low blow." Mark shrugged.

"Once again, you don't know shit, Lee." Donghyuck hissed.

"Actually I do. I saw you crying in your pillow one night after your shouting match in the hallway."

"I-How did you even get in my room?" He was in disbelief.

"I was the one who gave you a glass of water, and I heard you sniffling." The older smiled tersely.

"Oh, I thought that was Johnny. He usually does that." He said softly.

"Well, that was his and Ten's third anniversary, so I'm guessing they were doing the hokey pokey." Mark laughed at his own joke. Donghyuck couldn't help but feel a bit more light hearted at his attempt at humor.

"What I'm trying to get at, is that I've been watching you and Junnie for a while, and you both seem to be suffering from each other, except can't admit it because of your egos. You and Renjun are way more alike than you realize, you know. Just saying."

Donghyuck thought about it. The last time he saw Renjun, he had dark circles around his eyes, and could see the wariness he held in them, not just the usual anger and distaste. Maybe he was really harming the older.

"You know, I fucking hate it when you're right, Mark."

He watched from his book as said person smiled triumphantly. "See, you two should talk it out. It would do wonders for me too. Renjun's been sleeping over every time you two fight, and he snores like a bitch."

"I-I can't give up my pride just like that." He protested. He was too caught in his fantasies to destroy him that he didn't even realize he sometimes slept over at Mark and Lucas room.

"So you do admit you're also hurt by him. But don't worry, I can talk to him. Or maybe I can talk to Jeno. Those two seem close these days, so I'm guessing they made some sort of pact." Suddenly his phone began vibrating. Mark sighed, and dug it out, looking at the caller ID.

"Hello? Yeah, I'll be there. Sure, same. Bye!"

"Who was that?" Donghyuck asked, not looking up from his book.

"Jeno. He said he had to tell me something. Do you want me to tell him what you were saying?" Mark got up, smoothing his hair.

"Go ahead. But don't say I told you to. Just, like suggest it, like you noticed it." He smiled, lifting his eyes from the book.

"Sure thing!" Mark raised a thumbs up, and quickly left the room.

______________________________

Jeno ended the call. He had to do this. For Renjun, and himself. Mark had always been close to Donghyuck, so he figured he must've told the older something on how he felt. Jeno had never been too close to him, instead talking about everyday mundane topics. He and Mark were close enough, and they had talked about deeper matters before. Plus the older was wise in a sense, and could have advice in his situation.

A few minutes later, Mark walked in, smoothing his dark hair. 

"What's up, Jen?" He sat down on one of the couches.

"Okay, Imma get straight to the point because someone could just walk in here. You and Hyuck figured I've formed a pact with Renjun, right?" 

He watched as the older nodded, slowly. 

"It seems out of the blue, right? I'll tell you why. I was also in a rather similar situation as him. Shocking, right?"

Mark nodded again.

Jeno also told Mark everything, except not mentioning his name until the end.

"Jaemin was the boy."

He watched, stony faced, as the older's face turned from surprise, to suspicion, to shock, to disbelief.

"Wait, the Na Jaemin who came yesterday? I always thought he acted a bit bitchy, until you told me this, damn, this legit confirms it. So, what was the point of this? About Renjun and Donghyuck?" His face was a confused one.

"Right. Renjun has been hurting from day one. You can only withstand to a certain point, right? Any chances of me and Jaemin reconciling are over, as it's been five years, but I think Renjun and Donghyuck can get past their troubles and be great friends." He smiled.

"Oh my god, that's a great idea!" Mark jumped from his seat in excitement. "I also got Hyuckie to admit that he was hurting, especially when I caught him crying into his pillow after one of their shouting matches."

Jeno laughed at his friend's antics. "Of course. We can lock them up into a room, and have them talk. Just kidding. We can tell them that we talked, and they can finally realize that they're hurting each other, and be besties."

"Seriously, you think and talk like a toddler." The older poked him in the ribs, making him double to the ground.

"Hey, I'll tell Johnny that time you locked Chenle and Jisung into a dog crate once! You'll never hear the end of it!" Jeno shouted at Mark.

"Don't you fucking dare! I will tell Doyoung that time you cried in your bed because Lucas didn't want to play games with you!" Mark burst in laughter, recalling the event.

"Wait, you guys what? Oh my fucking gosh, this is news breaking!" Johnny shouted, closing the door from where he had entered.

"Why is it always you that hears us?" Jeno said, standing up and rubbing his face.

"Because you aren't supposed to shout in the lounge! It's for peaceful purposes, like when I need to take a break from Doyoung nagging me. No wonder Yuta calls him nagging monster." 

"Well, you're shouting right now!" Jeno shouted back.

"Use your honorifics to Johnny hyung!" It was Chenle.

"You're younger that me, you cabbage carrot haired ass! And you never use them to me either!" 

"This is reality, everyone." Jaehyun peeked in from the doorway, smiled, and left promptly.

"Damn, that man always has a don't worry be happy attitude, huh?" Yuta peeked in, and gave everyone a shit eating grin as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this chapter was even worse than the last one eye--  
> I stress write sometimes and it either turns out super angsty or just not good so yeah  
> this was unedited, so you can catch some grammar mistakes, sorry   
> anyways, have a great day/night!


	6. Fear

When all of the members had drifted out except for Jeno and Mark, it was the latter who initiated the conversation.

"So, how are we supposed to get them back together? They're all too prideful to admit to each other that their hurting, and will probably rip each other's heads off."

"Let's just lock them in a room, and see how it goes. From what I see, Renjun is slightly less prideful that Donghyuck and willing to reconcile, so I'll have him wait in the room, but you shouldn't tell Hyuckie, in case his pride gets the better of him."

"Do you really think that lowly of Hyuck?" Mark hissed. "Think about it. If we were in the same situation, would you want to confront each other? You won't even go 100 feet near Jaemin, let alone talk to him."

"My situation is different. It's been 5 years, and maybe he's forgotten what exactly happened, and thinks I'm just one of those--"

"No, trust me, It's the same damn deal." The older said, and Jeno paled at the scary look in his eyes. "You were opressed, and it was never resolved. I can feel the tension even if you two don't fucking look at each other."

Jeno thought about it, running his hand through his hair. Maybe he really should try to talk to Jaemin. But his fear of rejection overpowered everything else. Was this his version of pridefulness?

Funny how the person he wanted to forgive and talk things out with was the very same person that made him so that he was scared to. 

"Mark, what are your fears?"

He seemed surprised at the question, but thought about it.

"I'm scared of heights, fake people, and commitment, I guess. Why do you ask?" He looked intently at him.

"Well, sometimes, our fears are the reason we can't solve a problem, or get over something. I'm scared of being lonely and being rejected. What I'm trying to get at, is that maybe Donghyuck and Renjun have fears they need to get over to reconcile. Our fears can make up who we are, and that includes our pride." He replied.

"You and Jaemin too." Mark added bitterly, realising that Jeno was right.

"Let's get them to stop fighting first, and then worry about me, kay?" He patted his back, speaking softly.

He watched him sigh. "Sure. You tell Donghyuck, and I tell Renjun. Hyuckie won't believe me if I tell him, so you have to be the one who does."

"Great! So let's get started!" Jeno started to get out of his chair, but Mark pulled him back down.

"You are going to sit your ass down, and we are going to discuss you and Jaemin. I care about you, Lee Jeno, and I am going to help fix your situation. Let's get Renjun and Donghyuck to talking terms, and then we'll talk about you, okay? You can't worm your way out of this one."

He sighed. "Fine." He did want to fix things, though. 

"So, we'll have them talk during dinner time. Then, no members would interrupt, like they just did back then, okay? The sooner the better." Mark whispered the last part.

Jeno nodded. "Kay. Plan on. I'll go talk to Donghyuck, like, right now, actually."

"That's my boy." Mark shot finger guns, winking.

"Okay, but I'm legit less than a year younger than you." He laughed, and hugged the older, melting into his soft embrace. It felt good, to be loved by his members. The kind of love his parents never gave him, instead focusing on his grades. The kind of love, Jeno realized, Jaemin had never gave him.

____________________

"Hyuckie?" Jeno peeked into the room. Fuck. He was sitting on the bed, headphones plugged in, Jaemin on the other side. He walked along one side of the room, trying to stay away from the younger boy without making it painfully obvious.

"Can we talk?" He asked, softly.

Donghyuck took off his headset and glared at Jeno. "Did Renjun send you? Doing his dirty work, it looks like. What's the deal this time?"

"Ah, n-no. I just wanted to spend time with you." He could feel Jaemin's curious gaze on his back. "C'mon, let's go."

"You sure you aren't going to kill me, per Renjun's orders?" His friend looked so scared right then, and Jeno realized how much they had been hurting each other. 

"Of course not. I don't work for people. I work for myself, and always will. People don't control me, and they shouldn't control you, either." He said, firmly, not looking behind him. 

"No one controls me. What are you talking about?" Donghyuck was confused. Of course he was.

"Ah, it's nothing. That's good, that you're in control of yourself. Not being is horrible feeling." He shook his head, and when they walked outside, he knew his message had gotten through to the younger boy, by the way his head was drooped, and he was making eye contact with the wall.

When Jeno had sat Donghyuck down in the lounge, he started. There was no time to waste.

Tell me the truth, do Renjun's words hurt you?" He asked softly.

"Oh, so he finally realized that--" Donghyuck covered his mouth, realizing what he had said.

"Right. So if you hadn't noticed, Renjunnie confessed to me a few days ago that he was getting tired of you always--"

"Getting tired? Anyways, since you know already, go run back to him, and tell him, okay? He'll just start choosing worse insults!" Donghyuck ran his hands through his hair. "Fuck, I shouldn't have told you. I thought I could trust you." He turned to go.

Jeno held him back, motioning him to sit down. "Oookay. I put it the wrong way. I just want you two to make up, so I asked Mark about it."

"Make up?" He scoffed. "Like that's going to happen. Renjun's way too petty--"

"Maybe you're also as petty as him. From my viewpoint, you two have a lot in common. Your pride fullness, the way you handle situations, being super stubborn, and also holding grudges. That's what makes you two go at each other, hoping the other will just quit. Honestly, it's become a power struggle more than a grudge." He rationalized. It was harsh, but it seemed to do the work.

Donghyuck absorbed the words, and finally nodded.

"Sure. I'll talk to him. But don't expect much."

_______________________________

Donghyuck and Renjun met in the lounge where Mark and Jeno had discussed earlier. Renjun noticed how red eyed and tired Donghyuck looked, so he spoke first.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about all the shit I put you through. Genuinely. I never thought you would actually be hurt by my words, but I guess words do speak louder than actions." He smiled sadly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Plus, I'm really sorry for calling you a two faced bitch. I gotta admit, I do act like one myself sometimes." He whispered in his ear.

Donghyuck just enveloped him in a hug. "It's all okay. I'm also horribly sorry for every embarrassment I put you through too. I didn't know it would affect you so much. Guess we have a lot in common, eh?" He gave the older a crooked grin.

Renjun smiled back. "Friends?" He held out a hand.

He shook it. "Friends." Renjun smiled, this one a genuine one.

Mark and Jeno suddenly bursted into the room, having watched the whole thing. "Yay!" They shouted, blowing party horns and raining confetti.

"Where in the name of god did you get those? Gosh damn, you two are so fucking loud!" Donghyuck screamed, being loud himself.

"Partyyyyyy!" Jeno screeched. "To Renjun and Donghyuck's forever friendship!" He held out a pack of beer. 

"I stole it from Yuta and Winwin's room." He added with a shit eating grin.

"You sly mother--" They whirled around, but it was only Lucas and Jungwoo. "Let us join in too!"

So, they drank beer in red solo cups, and laughed in joy all night. Jeno almost forgot about Jaemin, in a drunken haze, with Donghyuck and Renjun clinging to each arm of him, sitting on the couch. Somewhere, Chenle and Jisung, and Ten joined in, and no one could care less that the two youngest weren't supposed to drink.

"Fuck the rules, they don't exist anymore, anyways. Let's drink to Junnie and my newfound friendship!" Donghyuck shouted over the mess of people. 

They all raised their cups, cheering. A drunk Ten called out a dance off, and they got to witness a rare moment of Jisung in his natural habitat, a dance master, 

Jeno got called up to dance to Taemin's Want along with Jisung, and when the two finished, everybody cheered, and threw them up in the air.

It was a party just like in the movies, except they were all friends, in this small burst of happiness that was hard to come by these days.

Renjun staggered through the crowd, flirting with Ten, and serenading a very drunk Hyuck in an offkey voice. He tripped and accidentally poured some of his drink on the couch. Yep, Taeyong was definitely going to have their asses the next day and Doyoung would lecture the hell out of them, but they would just enjoy this wave of euphoria in a sea of wretched waters.

___________________________

Jaemin watched the party unfold, and got lost in his memories. This party wasn't very different from the house parties the seniors used to throw, except everyone knew each other here, and their combined IQ would probably reach the sky. 

He didn't feel comfterable joining because, well, Jeno was there, and was having so much fun. He watched as the older poured beer into cups, and chucked the empty cans into the garbage by the door. He couldn't help notice that he made every one, even if he was drunk. He didn't want to ruin the fun.

When had Jeno changed so much? The old Jeno he knew would probably stick to the sides, talking with the few people he knew. But this Jeno gave his signature eye smile to everyone, and weaved around the big room, laughing his ass off at some of Mark's drunk antics. 

Why were they even partying today, out of all days?

Renjun and Donghyuck pushed Mark and Jeno up onto a table, and made them give a drunk speech on how they single handedly stopped their "silly fights" and made them became friends. He couldn't help but notice how Mark leaned his head onto Jeno's shoulders, and how Jeno play-choked Jisung after he said something that made Renjun laugh so hard he almost faceplanted into the potted plant in the corner.

Lucas and Jungwoo were messily making out in the corner, and Ten was cheering them on. Jaemin was turning to go, as he couldn't watch anymore, when they turned the music on. He stopped, when Jeno and Jisung stood together in the center of the small gathering of people.

A familiar song started playing, and Jaemin turned back to look at how Jeno was dancing. When had he learned to dance so well? He definitely wasn't on the dance team in high school, he would've noticed. 

The older had taken off his jacket, and now wore a tight fitting black turtleneck with a matching pair of skinny ripped jeans. Damn, he was smoking, Jaemin really had to admit this time, especially when he swayed to the choreo with the younger at his side. The crowd cheered, and he quickly hurried out of the door into the shadowy hallway, and into his room, to avoid anyone asking what he was doing.

__________________________

Jeno thought he saw a Jaemin shaped figure slip out the door sometime after he had settled down on one of the couches.

"It's probably the alcohol. " He rubbed his face. Exactly how many drinks had he had? Sometime, Yuta had also came in with two more packs of beer, and the party was on full swing. Thank god the dorm rooms were pretty far away from the lounge, so they wouldn't hear anything.

He glanced around the room, noticing that he was probably the most sober out of his friends, put down the cup he was holding, and got up, using the couch as balance, as he made his way to strike up a conversation with someone, when the music stopped, and the door opened.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" It was Doyoung. "You should thank god that Taeyong is already asleep, or he would've beaten each of your asses. Go. The party is over."

___________________

Minutes, or hours passed, with Jaemin lying in his dark room, with his eyes open, unable to sleep. He didn't fit in here, definitely not. He felt like he'd switched places with Jeno, like when he'd used to invite the older boy to his birthday parties with other kids who would bully him, and he'd watch out of the corner of his eye to see the boy sitting in a corner, with no one that talked to him, except for the occasional "dude, I'll pay you $2 if you give me your math homework answers for a week, kay?"

Voices sounded down the hallway, and he stiffened, curling deeper in his blankets.

"No, and then did you see the way Chenle growled at Sungie when--fuck my foot! Was this damn table ever here?" A chorus of laughter sounded, getting closer to his room.

"I'll tuck you guys in, because I'm clearly the most sober out of you three. Okay, Hyuck, you first, don't step there, that's my fucking computer! Okay, good!" Jeno was speaking. "I can't believe I have to treat you like animals, I swear, my drunk cats would be more behaved than you are right now." He muttered.

Jaemin almost laughed at Jeno's drunk attempts to get his friends to bed, and a few crashes later, he decided to help. It wasn't like anyone was going to remember anything tomorrow morning.

He rolled out of bed, onto the floor, and flipped on the lights.

"Hey, I'll help."

He watched as Jeno slowly turned around, and then nodded, smiling, ruffling his light colored hair.

"You can get Hyuckie dear into bed because he's absolutely wasted. I'll get Junnie. Thanks, by the way. I probably won't be able to get up in the morning." He looked him deeply in his eyes, and Jaemin swore he was more sober than he appeared. He turned away towards Renjun who had stubbed his toe in the bed.

"Do you like Jeno or something? You look at him with that longing expression in your eyes." He paused for a second. "Sorry, I'm just drunk off my ass. But still, you two look great, together." Donghyuck's eyes drooped, and Jaemin quickly helped him climb to the bunk above his.

Had Jeno heard that? The look of pure innocence he had given him still resided in his mind. Long after all three had fallen asleep, Jaemin lay awake.

Would Jeno remember? Did he remember himself?

_______________________________

"I'm going to go easy on you, because I like you. But you seriously can't be making so much noise during night. Now, tell me, who brought in the drinks?"

Jeno nervously rubbed his wrists together. "Uhh, it was me. I'm really sorry for causing a mess in the lounge."

He watched the older's eyes widen. "Y-you were the one who stole that from Yuta and Winwin's room? Lee Jeno, I, for once, do not know what to say."

"I'm really sorry, Doyoungie. Forgive me?" He put on his best pout.

He sighed. "You're so damn lucky that I like you, and you're like my adopted son, so fine. But Renjun and Donghyuck will not be so easily forgiven, especially Donghyuck. But it's good that you and Mark managed to get them as friends, huh?" Jeno nodded, smiling in pride.

"It's going to be hell for us, though, once they team up and try to get our asses." He smiled, thinking.

"What did I tell you about swearing?" Doyoung hissed softly.

"You swear all the damn time!" Jeno exclaimed.

Renjun and Donghyuck snickered from the doorway.

"Fine, I'll stop if you just let Hyuckie and Renjun do my punishment with me." He relented, placing a hand on the older's shoulder.

"And why should I do that?"

"Because bros before hoes, of course." Jeno shrugged

"What am I to you, a hoe?" An indignant Doyoung exclaimed.

"You will be if you punish Donghyuck and Renjun!"

"Fine." Doyoung sighed. "You know, you're too good for the world sometimes. Making those two brats have a lighter punishment. But I will revoke terms if I catch you swearing again!"

"Will do, Dons!" Jeno said, making the older cringe at the sound of his nickname.

______________________________

"You guys should thank me, you know. It was because of me that you didn't have to clean up the lounge and be on kitchen duty for the past month." Jeno sassed once they were in the bedroom. Jaemin was nowhere to be seen.

"Don't flatter yourself. Its just that somehow, Doyoung just likes you because you're cute and handsome." Donghyuck shot back.

Renjun watched as the smile disappeared off Jeno's face. "No. He likes me because I'm the only one who doesn't bully him." He turned to his computer, and turned back, and a smile was plastered on his face now. "Anyways, want to play this?"

The ever oblivious Donghyuck excitedly nodded his head. "Sure. All three of us can play! Wait until I beat both of your asses!" He rushed to grab his computer.

Renjun looked at Jeno, and the gaze in his eyes told him to lay it off, that it was okay. Before he could speak, Donghyuck had already came running back, and the younger had turned to grab his.

"Just saying, Renjun sucks ass at this, so he has big boi privileges!" He opened his big computer for Renjun to use.

"Playing on a bigger screen won't help him be better, though."

"Well, at least I acknowledged it, you dumbass. I hope he beats you. Remember that time when you couldn't even beat Mark?" Jeno snickered.

"I thought Doyoung said no swearing!" The younger said.

"Sure, go ahead and tell him, you'll only get the kitchen duty extended for another two weeks!"

"Lee Jeno, I fucking hate how smart you are!" Donghyuck huffed. "Let's just start the game."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy this was even more of a mess than the last one oops  
> I honestly just included the party scene bc I wanted to lol  
> anyways have fun with the fluffy and crack moments while it lasts.....  
> and also is Haechan's name supposed to be spelled Donghyuck or Donghyuk? If it's the second one I've been spelling it wrong this whole fic....


	7. That's right, we twisted

Jaemin didn't see much of Jeno over the past few weeks at the base, a glimpse of him ogling over a formula with Doyoung, in the dance practice room with Jisung, doing kitchen duty with Renjun and Donghyuck, okay, maybe he did see him a lot. They had never talked about that night, but he knew the older was sober enough to remember. It was in the way they exchanged the shortest of glances, when his eyes held a bit more emotion.

Until the day Taeyong announced the launch.

The spaceship was done, everything was planned out, it was just the idea of who would go.There would be four people going, and they were going to vote, today, actually. There were an odd amount of people in the facility, to in the case there were an equal number of people voted, one could balance it out.

Jaemin looked at the name he had written on the small piece of paper. Jeno. He seemed like the good canidate for space travel, strong, hardworking, smart, and had fast reflexes.

Definitely not because he wanted him to go, and be rid of the torment he went through when seeing the older's face. He was acting really selfish, but it wasn't like anyone would find out, right?

Humans, with their natural sense of selfishness and greed, had gotten humanity as a whole to it's height, and eventual downfall, where Jaemin now lay, resting on millions of decisions reflected by greed and selfishness.

He shouldn't feel bad, as this decision was also one of the many that had swirled around him his entire life.

_Jaemin, I want the bigger one!"_

_"C'mon, give that spot to me, I obviously deserve it more than him. Plus, I'm your best friend, right?"_

Everyone made selfish decisions, right? He bet, even Jeno made at least one in his entire life.

A day after Johnny came to their room and collected the small papers, they annouced who would be going at a meeting held in the now clean lounge.

"The people who will be going on our journey are... Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, and Jaemin!" Taeyong exclaimed. "Congratulations!" 

"Damn, all '00 liners." Mark commented. "Congrats, by the way." He said, flashing a smile, patting his back. Jaemin smiled back at him, abeit a sad one.

Couldn't anything go right for him?

_________________________

Renjun narrowed his eyes, glancing at Jaemin. 

The boy had definitely voted for Jeno. And he also got himself into it in return. He watched the younger shuffle around, a triumphant but also sad look in his eyes. 

Fate really spared no one this time around, huh?

"Yeah, he definitely voted for Jeno." Mark was suddenly beside him. Renjun tore his eyes away. "I can steal the votes from Johnny's room later, and we can match handwritings, if you want."

He shook his head. "I already know, no need to. Plus, what can we get from it? Resigning? Definitely not. This is what we've all been working towards, so it'd only be right if we also all volunteered to go."

Mark nodded solemly. "When will you guys come back?" 

"I'm afraid not until we've discovered a planet where we can host life on. So if all goes well, I'm estimating anywhere between two to twelve years."

"Nooo, Junnie. I'll miss you!" The older dramatically clung onto him.

Renjun pushed him off with a roll of his eyes. "We aren't going leave until next month, don't worry. You can even sleep in the same bed as me." He sassed.

Mark wrinkled his nose. "Ew, thats weird, bro. You should do that with Donghyuck sometime, though." He added with a smirk. 

"You dirty minded-- we're just friends! We can't be anything else!" He pushed the older onto the couch.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, okay?" He held his hands up until Renjun released him from the chokehold. "Remind me to never offend you again." He rubbed his neck.

________________________

Jeno was rather numb at the news. It just passed like a movie he would get too immersed in, then realize it wasn't real, and just the work of a camera, maybe a dream he would wake up from. So he did the thing that took his mind off things the most. Dancing. 

He hit the studio alone this time, as Jisung was busy doing things, aka Chenle. Those two had finally gotten together after months of pining, and Jeno couldn't have been happier. Jeno, Renjun, and Mark--Donghyuck didn't know about the situation yet, also talked about him and Jaemin, and he had promised he would talk to him about it. It looked like the moment would come sooner rather than later, as he wiped off his sweat, and turned off the music, when the younger walked in.

He stopped at the mirror right besides the door, and turned towards him.

"Aren't you mad at me?" Jaemin asked, softly shutting the door. There would be no escape.

"No. Why would I be?" He said, turning away, walking towards the other side of the large room to switch the song.

"Jeno, look at me when I talk." Of course Jaemin knew what his weaknesses were, buried deep inside him. Flashbacks of his parents yelling, screaming that sentence when he was doubled over in tears over his extracurricular math homework.

His face snapped to look at the younger. His face was an expressionless mask.

"That's a serious low blow. Using my weaknesses like that. Which one are you going to use next, huh? You technically can't ditch me again, because you got nowhere to go now." The words came sliding out, and he hadn't realised how much rage he still stored towards the brown-haired boy.

"I'm," A pause. "Really sorry about what I did back then. I know it might be way too late, no, too late, but we're going on the same space mission, so I figured I'd--"

"Have to talk to you. Of course. I'm not petty like that. We're talking now." Jeno finished the sentence for him, leaving Jaemin's mouth hanging open. 

"So, what do you really want to say?" He challenged, tilting his head.

"Um, could we get over this, and like, be friends again?" The younger was clearly nervous, which Jeno realised he had never seen Jaemin be before.

"You know, you sound like those second graders who broke up with their "girlfriends" and want to get back together, right? Of course."

He enveloped Jaemin in a hug.

"I really missed you."

"Same here."

_____________________________

Jaemin sat on the wooden floor of the studio, this time, with Jeno by his side.

"So, how'd you get so good at dancing?" he asked.

"Ah, I wouldn't consider myself as good, but I just watched dance covers on youtube, and developed my own style after learning the basics." Jeno blushed.

"Why didn't you join the dance team, though, wait." He realised he had been on it.

Jeno patted his shoulder. "Let's put the past behind us, okay? Pretend the last 5 years never happened." He jokingly put circles around his eyes, puffed out his cheeks, and imitated, "Hi, I'm Lee Jeno from class 7-1 , um, my hobbies are Math and engineering, and I hope we all become friends!" 

Jaemin laughed. "You know, you're funnier than they say you are." He watched as the older broke into a smile, eyes crinkling into cresents.

"It's okay, you don't need to lie. Honestly, I've just accepted it by now." He said softly, chuckling. 

____________________

"You and Jaemin, what? Damn, that was fast." Renjun laughed nervously.

"Yeah. Why do you look so spooked? You wanted this, right? He met with me in the dance practice room, and apologized, and we made up and shit, and--"

"You wanna know why he made up with you so suddenly?" He probed.

"I know. It was because of the mission, right?" The younger smiled. "I'm glad we aren't ignoring each other anymore. It was lowkey stressful." 

"Well, I'm happy that you guys made up." The words slipped out like a figure skater falling on ice instead.

"Something wrong?" His eyes were wide.

"Ah, it's nothing. I made a bet with Mark when you two would make up, and now I owe him." He laughed it off, knowing the older would back him up, knowing about what Jaemin had done.

"Oh, that's too bad." Jeno chuckled. "What did you bet? After the launch, that we would make up in the spaceship, talking in those small-ass excuses for a bed. Very funny, Junnie." He deadpanned.

"Anyways, I gotta go play PUBG with Jaeminnie. Catch you later!" He waved, and left the room.

Renjun sat on the bed, head in his hands. His best friend was falling into yet another trap, caused by the same exact person who had made him fall the first time. How far would he go this time?

_____________________________

Guilty? Jaemin did feel it, but it was too late to revoke, anyways. All he had to do was play his part, be friends, until they just weren't. 

He was a person who had always known what he wanted, but this time, he was confused. Really confused.

He was confused about what he felt towards the older, what he was supposed to do about those feelings, what he had already done, and his motive in general.

Thank god, for Jaemin at least, the four of them underwent training for the three weeks leading up to the launch, and they rarely saw each other, other than sleep and mealtime.

Renjun and Mark definitely knew something, judging by the way they looked at him when they were making small talk, an air of mistrust and wariness. But at least they didn't tell Jeno, probably in the case they could be wrong, so he was relieved.

But he knew, any day, that his façade couldn't hold anymore, the truth of why he suddenly befriended him out, and any chances left to reconcile gone.

Why did he always force himself into these dangerous and damaging situations, just to get what he wanted? Was he that sick and twisted, like they said? What did he even want anymore?

Jaemin found himself hugging all the members of NCT, and thanking them for what they had done for him over the short period of time he had been here, and boarding the spaceship. 

It was an magnificent creature, sleek and shiny, gadgets self controlled, backup systems in place. But why was he still nervous?

He looked behind him, and Jeno was crying into Doyoung's shoulder.

"I'll come back, I promise." He watched as he forced a smile, and patted the older's back. Jaemin turned away. After the truth was found out, he himself, would have nothing to come back to.

__________________________________

"Bro, do you trust Jaemin and Jeno on that ship? You should tell him the real reason why they made up, kay?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Send Donghyuck and Jeno my regards, again. I'll miss you guys." He hugged Renjun tightly.

"You guys will come back, right?"

He froze. "Of course. In due time, we will. And then, we can go save the world together." He whispered in his ear. 

Mark nodded, and gulped. "You will." He said quietly, more to himself than to him.

__________________________________

Donghyuck sat on the spaceship, ogling the controls and dashboard.

"Wow, we're really going. This feels like a dream."

"I know, right?" It was Jeno, settling into the seat next to him. "I'll miss the hyungs. Because we don't know when we'll come back. Or at all."

"Don't think about those things." Jaemin had entered the cockpit. "We'll definitely come back. Right, Injunnie?" He turned towards the older, who had just entered.

Renjun gave him a terse smile. "I'd hope so."

Why was he acting so weird towards Jaemin these past few weeks? Those smiles that he gave, didn't reach his eyes, not the kinds of smiles that he gave him when they were messing around together.

Ever since he and Jeno made up.

Did Renjun, possibly like Jeno?

He had to put a hand on his mouth to cover his shock. Of course it was Jeno. He was way nicer, handsome, and considerate of him than he ever was. A few months ago, he had been bullying the older.And he was thinking of confessing.

Damn, was he so dumb.

"Okay guys!" Jeno had been appointed honorary leader of the mission, mainly because he understood the workings of the rocket the best, and honestly was the only one who could get things in order between the four of them, called.

Of course Renjun would like a guy like him. Jaemin just ruined the picture. He should've noticed earlier on, them spending so much goddamn time again--gosh, he was so fucking dumb--

"We will begin takeoff procedures. Remember, you can always connect to us using the chat function, or leave video ments. Have fun, and godspeed!"

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, takeoff!"

The rocket shot into the sky, broke through miles of dust clouds, until all they could see was a blue and black starless sky. The base was nowhere to be seen, they were so far off ground.

Jeno unbuckled himself from the seat, and went to the back of the rocket to grab their meals.

"It's really pretty being up here, huh? No dust clouds." It was Renjun. Donghyuck stiffly nodded. "Yeah. Something like that."

"Something wrong? You seem sad." Wow, like he didn't know.

"Ah, I just miss our groupmates a lot." He sighed, not meeting the older's eyes.

"Same. Don't we all. Have you ever wondered who voted us to be here, today?" He sighed.

"They must've hated our guts, or just genuinely thought we would suit the mission." He paused. "Honestly, anyone could've gone on here, so I'm guessing the former."

Renjun let out a dry laugh. "Jaemin, that snake. You wanna know what he did?"

Was this when he would confess that he liked Jeno, and Jaemin was just completely ruining the picture. But before he could say anything, said person came back, and tossed packets of food, landing them in their laps.

"Ooh, Lee Jeno, showing off." Jaemin drawled. Donghyuck watched as Renjun looked disgusted at the younger, and turned towards his seat, ripping open his.

Yep, it was definitely jealousy.

"Okay, you and Donghyuck can manage the controls for a while, me and Jaemin will go take a rest." Jeno smiled, and he swore he could've been shading Renjun.

Right after they had left, he put the unsuspecting male in a chokehold.

"What do you want with Jeno? Do you like him or something, so that's why you're making pissy faces at Jaemin, right?"

"I-I don't like him! J-Jaemin, he--" Renjun stammered, squirming under his chokehold. Donghyuck dragged him out of his seat, the belt holding him down breaking, making the boy almost fly around the small cockpit, crashing into random machinery.

"Making excuses now, eh? Too bad, I can see through them. And to even have the notion that you like me? Damn, I was going to confess to you. I like you, okay? But you'll never like me back!" He shrieked, pushing Renjun into the control board.

He was crumpled on the controls, blood running from a gash in his face, until Donghyuck had realized what he had done.

"I-I'm so sorry Junnie! I got so mad and then I pushed you--please don't die!" Suddenly, the entire rocket started shaking.

Jeno rushed in. "What's happening?" His eyes shifted to the motionless Renjun, then back to Donghyuck. "What did you do?"

"I don't know! I a-accidentally pushed him onto the dashboard because I was mad, and then I must've done something, and--"

"Safety of passengers jeopardized. Emergency units being dispatched." A robotic voice sounded from the speakers.

"Okay, we have to get to the other side of the ship, where the emergency plan is held. I'll carry Renjun, you go wake Jaemin up, go, go go! We have 10 minutes max--cut that--around two now!" Jeno shouted, as the windowpanes started cracking, and machines started beeping.

Donghyuck was frozen to the spot. What the fuck had he done? Renjun hadn't even been his, and yet he'd pushed him, and damaged the entire ship. Everyone could die now.

"Hyuck, move your ass!" Jaemin shouted at him from the hatch.

He methodically got up, and quickly stumbled through the hallway, the oxygen chamber. There, he saw Jeno trip, and drop Renjun. The hatch to the emergency machine was right across the room.

"I'll help!" He shouted. He quickly climbed up to where Renjun was floating.

"Hatch closes in 10, 9, --"

"Quickly, Donghyuck and Jeno!" Jaemin called, and jumped into the hatch. They wouldn't make it. But Renjun might.

"5, 4, 3, 2,--"

Exchanging a glance with Jeno, they grabbed the unconscious Renjun's sides, and pushed him down, into the waiting hatch.

"1, 0, closing."

The hatch closed with Renjun falling in at the last second, and closed, leaving an open space. Donghyuck, holding onto Jeno, felt himself spiraling, and spiraling, and then, darkness ensued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this "grand finale" was rather disappointing in my opinion, but I used up most of my braincells for my end of year projects, so this was written probably around 2am, and in one take, so no editing here.  
> Grammar mistakes minefield!!! hehehe  
> anyways there will be a sequel, because I'm an absolute sucker for happy endings lol  
> have a great day/night!


	8. Epilogue: I don't wanna live forever

Where was Jeno and Donghyuck? Renjun had gotten pushed down the hatch, still unconscious, but did they never make it?

Jaemin sobbed into an unconscious Renjun's shirt. This was all his fault. He had gotten between everything. He should've stayed at the shack, living there till he died of starvation. He didn't deserve to live.

Why had he played Jeno like that? Why was he always so damn petty, taking things for granted? He should've learned from his time at the shed, to treasure every drop of water and bite of food he got. This time, his life.

He collapsed, embroiled in guilt, sadness, and regret. At least Jeno died happy, thinking that he had finally made up with his friend, no strings attached. He watched, frozen, as Renjun stirred beside him.

"H-hyuck? I'm so sorry, I should've came clean. It's ok if you hit me, I deserved it."

"Donghyuck is gone. You're in the emergency rocket." Jaemin couldn't help but not sugarcoat his words.

Renjun suddenly sat up. "W-what? E-emergency rocket? Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure. Jeno and Donghyuck gave up their lives for us, and they were the only ones who knew how to operate this."

"T-they did?" He sat down, in disbelief. "Hyuckie and Nono.....gave their lives up." He leaned against the chamber, eyes glassy and blank.

"Yeah. I saw them pushing you down, and then the hatch closed." Jaemin started crying, which made the other boy start tearing up.

"Oh, what are we going to do?"

__________________________________________

"Jaemin," Renjun's voice sounded from the window. "I checked the course indicator, and we're headed towards a huge wormhole."

"What?" He rushed towards the older, standing next to a display.

It was true. They were on a straight trajectory towards the big hole, and would be in orbit in less than.... 15 minutes.

"How do you change this? You're good with machines, right? You should know how to steer this away. Jaemin, please say you know! We'll land on the other side of the universe if we don't get away from it!" Renjun pleaded.

He started blankly towards the control dashboard. "I-I'm not sure. I build machines, not operate them! We can just take our chances, because if I touch a single thing, I'm afraid we'll die."

"Okay." Renjun deadpanned. "We're about to get transported to the other side of the universe in less than 15 minutes, we have no idea how to get the fuck out and back to earth, and the two members who knew the most about this shit are dead. Yep, we're screwed. Let's just take our chances. Pray."

"I-How can you stay calm in this situation?" Jaemin screamed. He didn't care if the older was wincing at his loud voice, head still bleeding. "We're going to fucking die!"

"Let's pray, and hope we can be repaid by all the time fate decided to screw with us." Renjun said, almost whispering.

"What's with you and goddamn fate?"

A large whoomphing sound sounded from outside, and everything outside them went black. The blinking lights of the emergency vessel were the only source of light, and the rocket was twisting and turning, throwing the two boys around the cockpit.

"We're in the pull now. We'll be sucked in any minute! Renjun, I just wanted to say this, I regret everything that I did to Jeno! I knew you knew about how I voted for him! I fucking killed him, Renjun!" Jaemin shouted, sobbing.

"Jaem, I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I know you didn't mean to do those things, and I hope we can meet in the next life!" Renjun shouted back, tears slipping.

"Jeno and Donghyuck, I'll avenge your deaths! I promise!" Jaemin screamed, before the air stilled, and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooookay this mini chapter was written only to connect this book to it's sequel, which I have named Death of Dreams! Info about it in the next and last chapter of this book!


	9. Bonus chapter+playlist

Damn, that was a long ass ride lol. This is my first fic, so I didn't write it very well and I'm sorry if it went too fast for your liking, or got too confusing.

Because, there will be a sequel!

I really liked the idea of this fic, and I'm quite a sucker for happy endings, so I'll write a second book.

You'd have to read this one to read the second one, as there are many references to this one.

It is an high school au, in a different timeline, as this wormhole can only lead to different timelines of their world. This 'parallel universe' is four years into the past, and all of the dreamies end up in the same high school.

Only Renjun and Jaemin remember what happened before they passed through the wormhole, btw. The other characters have no recollection of what happened in the other universe.

Definitely not as much angst as this one, but has the fair share of drama, fluff, crack, and--okayyyy I won't spoil any more.

Anyways, stay tuned!

Also, I made a collection of songs I listened to while writing this one(music helps me concentrate)

fake smile-Ariana Grande

astroboy.-suggi

Louder than bombs- BTS

One of these nights- Red Velvet

I Don't Wanna Live Forever- Zayn and Taylor Swift

Love me or Leave me- DAY6

when the party's over- billie eilish

Boom- NCT 127

NASA- Ariana Grande

White Night-NCT 127

iffy- Sik-K, pH-1, Jay Park

Happy- Taeyeon

That's okay- D.O

Coming Home- NCT U

Almost is Never Enough- Ariana Grande

Wake Me Up- BAP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was so fun, writing this, and even though this was my first real attempt at writing a fic other than drabbles and oneshots, and it absolutely sucked, I really hope you had a fun time reading this!  
> I hope y'all stay safe!


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